Tuesday, May 03, 2005

"Unsubscribed"

I never get over the heebie jeebies of sending out these ministry newsletters. No matter how many people say they enjoy them. No matter how many people tell me they got them at a "coincidentally" perfect moment when life was falling apart at the seams. No matter what, I never, ever push that 'send' button with confidence that it's not going to somehow get to someone who didn't want or ask for it. It never fails, there is always one address in the list that mysteriously gets picked up from who knows where, snatched right out of cyber space and placed right smack dab in the midde of my address book. That's why the option for 'unsubscribe' is on the bottom of the letter... "as always, if you no longer want to continue receiving this newsletter, just hit reply with the word "unsubscribe" in the subject." Don't worry, it won't hurt my feelings....for long." It's a joke! I add the little "hurt feelings" part because I'm thinking...I'm hoping...I'm talking to friends.... I'm not selling anything...and I'm not trying to get them to do anything. I'll be honest I don't really expect to get a reply with "unsubscribe" in the subject. And when I do, I lied! It DOES hurt my feelings, daggone it :) Good grief, how am I ever gonna "turn the other cheek," when I can't get past "unsubscribe?"

6 comments:

Jojo said...

Hi Melanie - the more I read from you the more I find out we have in common - I am a hairdresser, became a Christian after many years of mistakes - and now I read about your sister having a daughter who was brain damaged - I have a 10 yr old daughter who was severly brain damaged during the birthing process. She was breech and we didn't know it and she came too quickly for me to get to the hospital - was born at home but her head got stuck. I also was so torn up over the Terri Shiavo situation and that is how I got introduced to blogging. I also wrote so many letters to the Government leaders, to no avail. I'd like to know more about your niece (what happened to her - what is her status now etc) My Kristin lives in a special nursing home for severe needs about 40 minutes away. I am very involved in her care - but it is still a struggle.

I also really enjoyed your story about the unmerciful wife. I can relate there too - marriage is just not easy - especially when there is a lot of baggage brought into it. This is my second marriage - I have a 15 yr old son from my first and Kristin is from this marriage. My husband was not married before and he was blessed to grow up in a strong Christian family. I came to know the Lord after my divorce (was baptized etc) but really came to know Him after Kristin was born. Where is your husband in his faith now? What kind of church do you attend? When and why did you quit doing hair? What do you do now? How old are your children now? When I signed your guestbook I saw where someone wrote about the Emmaus Walk - have you gone? I went a few months after Kristin went into the nursing home - it was a life changing experience for me. I could go on and on - but am anxious to hear from you. God Bless you for sharing your faith.

Melanie said...

Hi Jojo,

Wow! It does seem that we have lots in common. Hairdressers usually do. :) I haven't had much time to write today:( At least wanted to acknowedge your kind words and thanks for signing my guestbook. Meanwhile, I just wanted to tell you that my niece has actually improved. My sister had to get a court order when a doctor in NY agreed to take another look at her because she was over 18. So, the hospital had some kind of guardianship or something...all that was the horrific thing for me...to watch parents have absolutely NO rights, having to watch their daughter die.

Anyway, we're planning a 30th birthday (surprise, so I hope she won't read this :) party for Keri.
I'm so sorry to hear about Kristen. That's got to be so difficult.

The Schiavo case still haunts me, cause Keri looked just like her and has difficulty talking, making noises like Terri did when they took out her feeding tube. I KNOW she knew what was going on. Keri remembers a lot...and she was also in pain, when doctors swore she was brain-dead. My sister even moreso thinks about Terri's situation all the time.

Anyway, I just wanted to say hi. You are so encouraging, thanks:)

Blessings,
Melanie

Jojo said...

Good Morning. I am glad to hear your neice improved - if she could read this after being in a state such as Terri - I consider that a huge miracle. Can you tell me what happened to cause her injury and what they did to rehabilitate her?

Melanie said...

Hi Jojo,

Hope your having a good day! Not standing on your feet too long :) I did someone's hair today too...just a guy in the neighborhood. We're about 15 miles from anything, so people here will still call...and if they catch me home, I can't say no. Once a hairdresser, always a hairdresser.:)

Anyway, Keri, at 19, began having severe headaches and it escallated to the point that her boyfriend (at the time) took her to the hospital. Her mouth had also become numb, so it was difficult to speak. She was disoriented and confused. Dr's didn't know what it was, but diagnosed with all sorts of things; MS, Ensephylitis (sp), or some kind of strange brain infection. They put her on HIGH doses of steroids, but then moved her to another hospital. there was miscommunication and Keri was dropped off steroids. She deteriorated rapidly into a coma. These days were horrible. She would stare, her body stiffen and arch and have these awful "episodes". My sister fought for more pain medication for her, though doctors kept saying that she couldn't feel anything and that these "episodes" were merely knee jerk reactions...just like I heard these doctors say about Schiavo.

By then, my sister was doing a lot of research for herself(docs hated that) Everytime she had another suggestion, they got more frustrated with her...like "we're worried about you." "You're not facing reality." You're being selfish...let her go" Again, comments in this case were similar.

Anyway, after a lot of research, Donna, my sis, came up with a lyme disease possibility. Drs there thought that was ridiculous, but, finally, like I said, they took her after winning the court order, by ambulance, in the fetal position, unable to do anything... to NY, was reevaluated and considered for antibiotic treatment for Lyme. She began responding. (original Drs. will not acknowledge Lyme diagnosis) There was just so much damage done by then. but she did improve...even her CT Scan, which showed "no brain mass" on one side and very little on the other showed a marked improvement a year later. But, Keri still has to be gotten out of bed, into her wheel chair. Her dad has arranged everything for her in the house. She spoke for a long time by touching a computer. It's easy to look at her and think she doesn't understand, but, when she emails or does stuff on her computer...she's way more there than you think. She's got a witty sense of humor and loves to write. I asked her something about what she was trying to learn one time..."Stop slobering" she told me from her computerized "voice." Now we realize she 'gets it' a lot more than we thought.

The thing is, the way the Schiavo case was portrayed in the news gave a distorted truth and now, with people getting these advanced directives etc, can be dangerous. Like if you signed that thing. It's legal, if they decide food and water are 'heroic' measures and you really want to live, but become incappacitated...it's scary. Looking at Keri, I know she wouldn't have asked to be like this; BUT...she's a different person..she's happy with her life, and she fought darn hard to stay alive. My sister saw that and was determined to over ride doctors advice. (not at first, of course, but after years) Many experts (not all) try to make anyone that challenges them out to be 'nuts,' which is what we saw on all these news shows. It just broke our hearts to know that the very fact that Terri Schiavo lived...for years, in spite of her husbands refusal for treatment of infections. He won money to rehabilitate her, then used it in lawyer fees and put her right in hospice, which is for dying people... and then to live for two whole weeks with no hydration or food, showed a very strong will to live. And no one could help her...

But, yes, it has been a miracle! We love her and she's going to be shocked at her party!

Hey, where do you live by the way?

Melanie said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Jojo said...

Hi Melanie,
Thanks so much for the details. I can relate in so many ways. I can't imagine how difficult it was for your sister. I'm so glad she kept researching and fighting. You have to because no one else will. I have to stay on top of the nursing home where Kristin is all the time. It's so frustrating to know they are the trained professionals but I have to look over their shoulders to make sure they do their job. We have been battling another battle right now.

The Terri Schiavo case still has me so upset. I was upset at the very same comments you talked about. I know her responses were not reflexes. Funny - I used to be the one to not think my Kristin really knew anything - but she is responding to more and more as time goes by. SHe enjoys music and videos very much. She used to not make eye contact and now she turns her head when I come in her room, sometimes she follows me as I put her clothes away. She actually sits and watches her TV and she smiles and laughs at many things. It thrills my heart.

I read so much about Terri Shiavo and I think there is so much that others don't know. I got so frustrated by listening to others comments. People don't really have a clue unless they have lived with someone in that condition. I cannot believe the husband had the rights he did. But we both know he will have to face what he did. I hope he comes to know the Lord before that and receives forgiveness.

Anyway - good to talk to you. I am getting ready to go to my son's track meet. Have two ladies under the dryer who I need to finish. We live in Indiana. Talk to you later. Much more to talk about!!