We showed the DVD "Indescribable' below to my friend's son. I thought 7 year old Caleb's response was worth sharing. Hope you enjoy it as much as we did. As you can tell, he was pretty amazed, but I think he caught the awesomeness (?) of it.
Monday, April 07, 2008
Saturday, March 22, 2008
INDESCRIBABLE
Like I mentioned in the post below, seems these days my view of God and life, myself, others...everything has turned upside down. Check this video out, yours may just change as well. Our God, Who is LOVE, is beyond anything we can comprehend, understand or imagine. In fact, He's Indescribable.
Indescribable - Louis Giglio
Just thinking, and rethinking..
Indescribable - Louis Giglio
Just thinking, and rethinking..
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Because He Lives!
This is from worship practice the other night. Just trying out this cool little "flip" video recorder I just got. "Because He Lives" is a beautiful old hymn by the Gaithers. We don't play too many hymns for worship...mainly because most of us don't know them. I love the words in this one though, "because He lives, I can face tomorrow....and life is worth the living, just because He lives! And that....is the truth!
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
This is Love
Even though I recorded this song 5 years ago, it remains a favorite. This Is Love is such a reminder of the lengths to which God, Who is unfathomable and incomprehensible Love, was willing to go on our behalf. He loves us, without condition...He's shown His intentions toward us on the cross and we can rest in the fact that none of it depends on our behavior or feelings or circumstances...but on HIS faithfulness. 1John 4:10 "This is love; not that we loved God, but He first loved us..."
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
What in the World????
How in the world am ever going to talk Frank into going in the water with things like this lurking? I mean, this kind of creeps me out!!! Even creepier was at first I thought it was one of those "snakehead" fish that walk on land. But, it's not. "It's an alligator gar fish" At least that's what my neighbor said. And I'm pretty sure I heard him mutter "city girl" through a clench toothed smile.
Anyway, I don't think all the begging in the world is going to convince Frank to share the beauty of the beach with me. It's just not going to happen.
Friday, August 17, 2007
PSALM 23
Stumbled across this. I don't know..there's always something so much more precious about God's Word when it comes from a little kid. Enjoy!
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Just Checking In
I just realized, it's been a whole year...exactly...since I last posted.
Life has changed so much in all this time, I hope to write about it later. Meanwhile, just want to stop and say hi.
Life has changed so much in all this time, I hope to write about it later. Meanwhile, just want to stop and say hi.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Going Back to Indiana
Guess what???? It's set! I'm so excited, we're going back to Indiana in September with Wayne & Terri to visit the "Oasis". Right now, looks like the dates are 8th through 11th or somewhere around there.
Gosh, I hate when I don't write for months. I don't even know where to begin, life changes so much from day to day. But, I think of everybody...my friends from this "blog" world all the time.
Anyway, I just wanted especially JoJo and Lepido know that we'll be coming to your area, so maybe we can work something out to see each other again.
This was something that one of the women at the retreat our church held. She's hasn't been a Christian very long, but, her faith has encouraged me so much.
The "naked and unashamed" she refers to is something that dawned on me as I was teaching...how, although we are suffering all the "flaws from the fall" as I called them, on the inside, we are being restored to our original condition as we were meant to be and the first man and woman were. I thought of their being unaware of their nakedness, so they didn't know to be ashamed, and how we are now free to be "naked and unashamed" of those circumstances, thoughts, etc., that we were used to keep hidden. So anyway, as it became a freeing thought to me, it kind of caught on. :)
Second Touch Women’s Retreat (4/2006)
“Extreme Make-over”
I was a stranger walking in. I was still in shock from a recent disappointment and in desperate need of some repair, some hope. I had somehow heard of the retreat through a friend of a friend of the group and signed up at the last minute. Being a fairly new believer, I had not been to a retreat before and didn’t know what to expect. First two faces I met were Kate and Holly…. Bright and shining warmth… Then, walking into the house, I was greeted by Melanie, who looked somehow so very familiar. Then one by one…Dotty, Marci, Sharon, Lacy, Joyce, Kathleen, and the rest whose names I cannot remember…everyone looked familiar to me. Never had I experienced such a feeling in a new group of people. As I look back now, the energy I felt must have been the undeniable connection through our sisterhood in Christ. Each of us had put our lives on hold that weekend to be at the retreat, for the sole purpose of getting closer to God. As a result, the sisterhood could be felt much stronger without our masks we tend to put on for the world. It seemed more apparent to me, because I was a stranger to the group, never having met these women before. Yet I felt like I knew them, and I felt instantly accepted. I was a part of the group….I belonged… I was holding (clenching) the only ticket required….the longing for God. As Melanie led the retreat with such openness and put herself out there (“naked and unashamed”); and as we shared the scriptures, our stories, tears, and laughter…I somehow felt renewed, alive, and excited again about the road ahead. It is just so amazing to me how perfectly God paves the way for me….how intimately he knows my heart. How, as soon as I seem to have hit a dead-end, he lights up another brighter path for me to walk on. How he always, always, has me in his embrace…. Now, if I can just stop kicking and thrashing around and learn to rest in his arms… If I can be still and just breathe…
The last song on Melanie’s CD is “Breathe.” It says so much…so simply…
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:7)
Gosh, I hate when I don't write for months. I don't even know where to begin, life changes so much from day to day. But, I think of everybody...my friends from this "blog" world all the time.
Anyway, I just wanted especially JoJo and Lepido know that we'll be coming to your area, so maybe we can work something out to see each other again.
This was something that one of the women at the retreat our church held. She's hasn't been a Christian very long, but, her faith has encouraged me so much.
The "naked and unashamed" she refers to is something that dawned on me as I was teaching...how, although we are suffering all the "flaws from the fall" as I called them, on the inside, we are being restored to our original condition as we were meant to be and the first man and woman were. I thought of their being unaware of their nakedness, so they didn't know to be ashamed, and how we are now free to be "naked and unashamed" of those circumstances, thoughts, etc., that we were used to keep hidden. So anyway, as it became a freeing thought to me, it kind of caught on. :)
Second Touch Women’s Retreat (4/2006)
“Extreme Make-over”
I was a stranger walking in. I was still in shock from a recent disappointment and in desperate need of some repair, some hope. I had somehow heard of the retreat through a friend of a friend of the group and signed up at the last minute. Being a fairly new believer, I had not been to a retreat before and didn’t know what to expect. First two faces I met were Kate and Holly…. Bright and shining warmth… Then, walking into the house, I was greeted by Melanie, who looked somehow so very familiar. Then one by one…Dotty, Marci, Sharon, Lacy, Joyce, Kathleen, and the rest whose names I cannot remember…everyone looked familiar to me. Never had I experienced such a feeling in a new group of people. As I look back now, the energy I felt must have been the undeniable connection through our sisterhood in Christ. Each of us had put our lives on hold that weekend to be at the retreat, for the sole purpose of getting closer to God. As a result, the sisterhood could be felt much stronger without our masks we tend to put on for the world. It seemed more apparent to me, because I was a stranger to the group, never having met these women before. Yet I felt like I knew them, and I felt instantly accepted. I was a part of the group….I belonged… I was holding (clenching) the only ticket required….the longing for God. As Melanie led the retreat with such openness and put herself out there (“naked and unashamed”); and as we shared the scriptures, our stories, tears, and laughter…I somehow felt renewed, alive, and excited again about the road ahead. It is just so amazing to me how perfectly God paves the way for me….how intimately he knows my heart. How, as soon as I seem to have hit a dead-end, he lights up another brighter path for me to walk on. How he always, always, has me in his embrace…. Now, if I can just stop kicking and thrashing around and learn to rest in his arms… If I can be still and just breathe…
The last song on Melanie’s CD is “Breathe.” It says so much…so simply…
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:7)
Thursday, April 27, 2006
I'm Back
It's been months since I last wrote. Just haven't had much time lately. But, I miss everyone.
The week the Sound of Music was over, Frank's sister called needing help with his mom, who has lived with her for the past 15 years. His sister had just had knee surgery and couldn't cope with his mom, who came down with a severe flu. She seemed to lose all control and needed help with eating, getting dressed...etc. So...I wound up going to help, which was actually a blessing...spending so much time with her. She became so weak, she was hospitalized and while recuperating in a rehabilitation center, Edie suffered a blood clot. By the time they called us to return, she was in a coma-like state, hooked to machines. Four days later, she passed away. It was totally unexpected as she was getting better and growing stronger.
This past weekend, I taught at a women's retreat, which was such a welcome treat. It was at a "summer home" on a Lake. About 22 women attended all together. So, for weeks there was a lot of preparing to do for our "Extreme Makeover" weekend...(God's Desire for a Radical New You!) Not only was it a wonderful time spent with lots of incredible women, but...I still can't believe it...made my debut playing guitar for worship. Holly, who was a fellow "nun" in the Sound of Music, played keyboard for worship, but...I was able to accompany her - with my very limited skills on the guitar Frank bought me years ago. I picked it up in February...and voila...I'm actually playing it...and really enjoying it.
This Sunday, we're (with Frank on the Sax) leading worship at a local church,then on Thursday for a local county event for "The National Day of Prayer."
Anyway, just thought I'd say hi. REally, I just wanted to get that "Yikes" word off the heading of my blog. They closed the case after a short investigation, by the way, and replaced the money.
The week the Sound of Music was over, Frank's sister called needing help with his mom, who has lived with her for the past 15 years. His sister had just had knee surgery and couldn't cope with his mom, who came down with a severe flu. She seemed to lose all control and needed help with eating, getting dressed...etc. So...I wound up going to help, which was actually a blessing...spending so much time with her. She became so weak, she was hospitalized and while recuperating in a rehabilitation center, Edie suffered a blood clot. By the time they called us to return, she was in a coma-like state, hooked to machines. Four days later, she passed away. It was totally unexpected as she was getting better and growing stronger.
This past weekend, I taught at a women's retreat, which was such a welcome treat. It was at a "summer home" on a Lake. About 22 women attended all together. So, for weeks there was a lot of preparing to do for our "Extreme Makeover" weekend...(God's Desire for a Radical New You!) Not only was it a wonderful time spent with lots of incredible women, but...I still can't believe it...made my debut playing guitar for worship. Holly, who was a fellow "nun" in the Sound of Music, played keyboard for worship, but...I was able to accompany her - with my very limited skills on the guitar Frank bought me years ago. I picked it up in February...and voila...I'm actually playing it...and really enjoying it.
This Sunday, we're (with Frank on the Sax) leading worship at a local church,then on Thursday for a local county event for "The National Day of Prayer."
Anyway, just thought I'd say hi. REally, I just wanted to get that "Yikes" word off the heading of my blog. They closed the case after a short investigation, by the way, and replaced the money.
Monday, November 28, 2005
Yikes! It Happened to Me!
I always thought those commercials were clever, not really thinking about the reality of it. You know the ones? Where the tough guy is talking about shopping for his party dress, complete with a female voice-over? Or the girl with the man's voice? They're talking about all the fun they've had at someone else's expense?
Well...you got it! It happened to me and all I could see was some guy with my voice (with a thick NY accent) talking about how he was enjoying his new computer or office equipment from Staples (or whatever they spent almost $800 on), all the latest cosmetics at Sophora's ($500 worth),his new Banana Republic wardrobe, the latest tunes from NY City's Music Land, and of course all this over dinner in China Town and goodies at lots of other places all over the "big Apple." All in all...this person enjoyed themselves (on us) over the course of a weekend to the tune of almost $3000. I don't think I have to tell you... that commercial is not so funny right now.
Who knows? maybe I'll pass it on when it becomes one of those "looked back on stories" and we learn something spiritual from it. As a matter of fact, maybe we are learning something... because right now...it's kind of creepy how it actually "feels" like somebody came in your house and went through your stuff. So, spiritual lesson #1...letting the "Jesus" in me pray for God's love, grace and mercy on this person when the "Melanie" in me would really rather not. :):)
Well...you got it! It happened to me and all I could see was some guy with my voice (with a thick NY accent) talking about how he was enjoying his new computer or office equipment from Staples (or whatever they spent almost $800 on), all the latest cosmetics at Sophora's ($500 worth),his new Banana Republic wardrobe, the latest tunes from NY City's Music Land, and of course all this over dinner in China Town and goodies at lots of other places all over the "big Apple." All in all...this person enjoyed themselves (on us) over the course of a weekend to the tune of almost $3000. I don't think I have to tell you... that commercial is not so funny right now.
Who knows? maybe I'll pass it on when it becomes one of those "looked back on stories" and we learn something spiritual from it. As a matter of fact, maybe we are learning something... because right now...it's kind of creepy how it actually "feels" like somebody came in your house and went through your stuff. So, spiritual lesson #1...letting the "Jesus" in me pray for God's love, grace and mercy on this person when the "Melanie" in me would really rather not. :):)
Monday, November 21, 2005
Thanksgiving!
I have to apologize for being so bad at keeping up with posting recently. It's all I can do to keep up with life these days, but...I really am enjoying the experience...if only I live through it! :) Why? First of all, I guess I've realized now how "out of shape" this body really is when carrying food, water and coffee sends my legs and arms into strange aches, pains and muscle spasms they haven't felt before. It's like I've slammed myself into some sort of new vigorous exercise routine or something. And I'm sure glad "this" happened last night (because our Wed. performance was cancelled, and we're off for 4 days) so there is time for this black and blue "goose egg" on my forehead to fade away. What happened? Well, during one of the last scenes of the show, I am part of the "Trio of Songer something" who wind up taking 3rd prize in the Saltzburg Festival...last night I got a huge laugh when I stole the one bouquet of flowers they award us and fled the stage, bowing & courtseying (sp?). Maybe it was because they thought it was part of the show when I slammed my head straight into the wall on the way out. :):):)Ouch!!!
This is one of those years that Thanksgiving winds up on or near my middle son, Nicholas, birthday. It's the day before, so we'll be celebrating both special occasions this week. Talk about Thanksgiving and being "Thankful", when I think of all the events around that time when Nick was born, I can't help but be in awe, let alone, grateful at the incredible things God has done! I know the Apostle Paul says to "press forward" and of course, he's encouraging us not to live in the past, or get stuck there...and I understand that completely. However, sometimes, I think it's good to think about who we were, where we've come from, so that we don't just take what God's done for granted. It's so easy to get caught up in all the stresses, complications and details of everyday life and allow them to be larger than the God I claim to trust. Looking back allows me to gain a true perspective of God, who really is larger than anything life throws at me.
There've been lots of dark days in my life (before Christ)...moments consumed with hopelessness, but, Thanksgiving Day, 1981 was probably one of the worst. I'd had a friend pick me up at the hospital that day...me and my new baby. Now home in the quiet of my apartment, a sense of panic washed over me as I watched Nicholas asleep in his basinette. I'd never felt so alone. The seriousness and responsibility of this situation hit me at once. No job, no money, no husband and another child to raise. Good grief, what had I done? I called a few friends in tears, but, they couldn't really talk, they were celebrating Thanksgiving with family.
Alone, all kind of thoughts now circled around in my head. How brave I thought I was in my decision to have this baby against all advise otherwise. "Are you crazy? You can't have a baby. It's easy, no big deal, just get an abortion. Everybody does it these days!" But, it wasn't easy, and all my strong willed and opinionated statements, like; "no body is going to tell me what to do with my own body" just flew right out the window when after seeing a doctor about a "growth" in my abdomen, turned out to be 21 weeks of pregnancy. Somebody, anybody, please tell me what to do with my body I now screamed silently and immediately spiraled into a 3 day crying, sleeping and more crying black hole of depression and confusion. One of the first and funniest things to be grateful for about that time was the questionable bedside manner of the doctor. This guy was not moved one bit by my dilemma or tears..."you're too far along for normal abortion procedures" he said matter-of-factly. "You have to go through the process of delivery. Only I'll inject a solution that will terminate the fetus." Then he added this, which I will never forget..."Oh, and by the way, I charge just as much for a dead baby as I do a live one."
Hmmm, if that don't send you reeling, I don't know what will. Anyway, to make a very long story sort of short...I still called what I thought was an abortion clinic...who knows why...maybe to merely find someone to talk to. So I found one in the phone book. It was called a "Crisis Pregnancy Center." I was pregnant...in a crisis, how perfect. One of the kindest persons ever answered the phone at like 7 in the morning and invited me right over. I jumped at the invitation and found it to be a beautiful ranch for unwed mothers, mostly young girls. I was older, 27, didn't need what they offered, but, found a compassionate ear and one simple question changed everything for for me. "Why can't you have this baby?" She asked. All my frets, worries and concerns now sounded trite as I heard myself speak them out loud to her. There was really no reason, other than inconvenience, any way I looked at it and a few days later, the weight of the world lifted from my shoulders...and brain...when I made a decision.
"I'm having this baby" however, wasn't met with such great relief from others. Particuarly the father, who I'd broken up with months before. Angry and confused, I'm sure he's probably regretted some of the cruel things he said to me back then. But, it was just another of the things that went swirling around my head that dismal Thanksgiving Day, causing me to now question my decision as my beautiful little boy lay sleeping. What would I do? How would we make it? Right now, even diapers and formula would be a problem until I could get back to work. (which I did 3 weeks later)
Though I didn't know I'd posed those questions to God, I now know He was heard those cries. There were a few of my clients who said they were "praying" for me. Yeah right, I thought, if I gave it any thought at all, because I didn't believe, if there was a God, that He would have anything to do with the likes of me. However, two times during those few desperate weeks and two little boys to support, my clients' churches sent over huge bags of groceries and showed up at my door (wearing Santa hats) with presents for all of us. I was too proud back then and too decieved into thinking I was fiercely independent, to be grateful enough, but...I don't have to think of it too hard now to appreciate God's hand in all these events. Today, when I remember that Thanksgiving, I'm not too proud to give Him every bit of the credit. I am overhelmed by the "Beauty of what God is willing to make of the Ashes of what many times are our own foolish choices... and...I am moved to tears over God's goodness, when I celebrate the 24th year of the birth of my beautiful son, Nicholas!
A Happy and Blessed Thanksgiving to all!
This is one of those years that Thanksgiving winds up on or near my middle son, Nicholas, birthday. It's the day before, so we'll be celebrating both special occasions this week. Talk about Thanksgiving and being "Thankful", when I think of all the events around that time when Nick was born, I can't help but be in awe, let alone, grateful at the incredible things God has done! I know the Apostle Paul says to "press forward" and of course, he's encouraging us not to live in the past, or get stuck there...and I understand that completely. However, sometimes, I think it's good to think about who we were, where we've come from, so that we don't just take what God's done for granted. It's so easy to get caught up in all the stresses, complications and details of everyday life and allow them to be larger than the God I claim to trust. Looking back allows me to gain a true perspective of God, who really is larger than anything life throws at me.
There've been lots of dark days in my life (before Christ)...moments consumed with hopelessness, but, Thanksgiving Day, 1981 was probably one of the worst. I'd had a friend pick me up at the hospital that day...me and my new baby. Now home in the quiet of my apartment, a sense of panic washed over me as I watched Nicholas asleep in his basinette. I'd never felt so alone. The seriousness and responsibility of this situation hit me at once. No job, no money, no husband and another child to raise. Good grief, what had I done? I called a few friends in tears, but, they couldn't really talk, they were celebrating Thanksgiving with family.
Alone, all kind of thoughts now circled around in my head. How brave I thought I was in my decision to have this baby against all advise otherwise. "Are you crazy? You can't have a baby. It's easy, no big deal, just get an abortion. Everybody does it these days!" But, it wasn't easy, and all my strong willed and opinionated statements, like; "no body is going to tell me what to do with my own body" just flew right out the window when after seeing a doctor about a "growth" in my abdomen, turned out to be 21 weeks of pregnancy. Somebody, anybody, please tell me what to do with my body I now screamed silently and immediately spiraled into a 3 day crying, sleeping and more crying black hole of depression and confusion. One of the first and funniest things to be grateful for about that time was the questionable bedside manner of the doctor. This guy was not moved one bit by my dilemma or tears..."you're too far along for normal abortion procedures" he said matter-of-factly. "You have to go through the process of delivery. Only I'll inject a solution that will terminate the fetus." Then he added this, which I will never forget..."Oh, and by the way, I charge just as much for a dead baby as I do a live one."
Hmmm, if that don't send you reeling, I don't know what will. Anyway, to make a very long story sort of short...I still called what I thought was an abortion clinic...who knows why...maybe to merely find someone to talk to. So I found one in the phone book. It was called a "Crisis Pregnancy Center." I was pregnant...in a crisis, how perfect. One of the kindest persons ever answered the phone at like 7 in the morning and invited me right over. I jumped at the invitation and found it to be a beautiful ranch for unwed mothers, mostly young girls. I was older, 27, didn't need what they offered, but, found a compassionate ear and one simple question changed everything for for me. "Why can't you have this baby?" She asked. All my frets, worries and concerns now sounded trite as I heard myself speak them out loud to her. There was really no reason, other than inconvenience, any way I looked at it and a few days later, the weight of the world lifted from my shoulders...and brain...when I made a decision.
"I'm having this baby" however, wasn't met with such great relief from others. Particuarly the father, who I'd broken up with months before. Angry and confused, I'm sure he's probably regretted some of the cruel things he said to me back then. But, it was just another of the things that went swirling around my head that dismal Thanksgiving Day, causing me to now question my decision as my beautiful little boy lay sleeping. What would I do? How would we make it? Right now, even diapers and formula would be a problem until I could get back to work. (which I did 3 weeks later)
Though I didn't know I'd posed those questions to God, I now know He was heard those cries. There were a few of my clients who said they were "praying" for me. Yeah right, I thought, if I gave it any thought at all, because I didn't believe, if there was a God, that He would have anything to do with the likes of me. However, two times during those few desperate weeks and two little boys to support, my clients' churches sent over huge bags of groceries and showed up at my door (wearing Santa hats) with presents for all of us. I was too proud back then and too decieved into thinking I was fiercely independent, to be grateful enough, but...I don't have to think of it too hard now to appreciate God's hand in all these events. Today, when I remember that Thanksgiving, I'm not too proud to give Him every bit of the credit. I am overhelmed by the "Beauty of what God is willing to make of the Ashes of what many times are our own foolish choices... and...I am moved to tears over God's goodness, when I celebrate the 24th year of the birth of my beautiful son, Nicholas!
A Happy and Blessed Thanksgiving to all!
Thursday, November 10, 2005
JoJo
Today, my heart just breaks for my sweet friend JoJo. Yesterday, her precious little Kristin went home to be with the Lord. Jojo's strength and unwavering faith in Christ has been such an inspiration and encouragement for so many of us. Please keep their family in your prayers and thoughts.
JoJo's Blog
JoJo's Blog
Thursday, November 03, 2005
HE** Week!!!
They call this last week before opening night, which is this Friday, H*ll week! Now I know why! They weren't kidding! I don't think I've made it home before 1 or 2 in the morning. Yesterday morning, the phone rang at 6:30 and it was Frank. I thought he was taking a shower, so I got really disoriented and confused. Like..."who are you?" Dang, "who am I?" And..what are you doing on the phone? He wasn't amused and had a list for me even though I was pretty much incoherent.
Speaking of incoherant (sp?) my daughter, Julie called on Monday night on my way home (around 1 am) because she was worried. I told Frank on Tuesday morning that Julie had called to see if I was ok. "Then she wished me happy birthday," I told him. He just looked at me strangely..."why would she say that?" he asked. "Maybe, because it IS my birthday!"
Ok...I'm done complaining! I actually wanted to post earlier in the week, before H*ll week took it's toll and say a few words about the weekend, which was incredible. Last week, fellow blogger..."Lepido" Hank and his beautiful wife, Nancy were visiting relatives in our town, so we got to spend some time together. What a blessing! They came to our church on Sunday morning and I was thinking...that's one of the cool things about being "in Christ." We have "family" everywhere. We can skip the small talk and get right to the things that matter. It's like we've known each other forever. We got to visit a few times while they were here and I enjoyed every minute of it and consider them very special friends. I think they did too...even though they now have a little more insight into "my husband's new invention."
There is so much to say about what is going on with "The Sound of Music" I just don't have time right now. Hopefully, when it calms down a little and we get past the chaos of this week...I'll be able to write more. Hope so.
Meanwhile..."So Long, Farewell...Aweideseine (I've got no idea how to spell that) Goodbye!
Speaking of incoherant (sp?) my daughter, Julie called on Monday night on my way home (around 1 am) because she was worried. I told Frank on Tuesday morning that Julie had called to see if I was ok. "Then she wished me happy birthday," I told him. He just looked at me strangely..."why would she say that?" he asked. "Maybe, because it IS my birthday!"
Ok...I'm done complaining! I actually wanted to post earlier in the week, before H*ll week took it's toll and say a few words about the weekend, which was incredible. Last week, fellow blogger..."Lepido" Hank and his beautiful wife, Nancy were visiting relatives in our town, so we got to spend some time together. What a blessing! They came to our church on Sunday morning and I was thinking...that's one of the cool things about being "in Christ." We have "family" everywhere. We can skip the small talk and get right to the things that matter. It's like we've known each other forever. We got to visit a few times while they were here and I enjoyed every minute of it and consider them very special friends. I think they did too...even though they now have a little more insight into "my husband's new invention."
There is so much to say about what is going on with "The Sound of Music" I just don't have time right now. Hopefully, when it calms down a little and we get past the chaos of this week...I'll be able to write more. Hope so.
Meanwhile..."So Long, Farewell...Aweideseine (I've got no idea how to spell that) Goodbye!
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
"Unlikely Angel"
Just got back from vacation. Now I need a vacation to get over the “vacation.” Anyway, the highlight of the week was reading Ashley Smith’s book “Unlikely Angel” Remember her? She was the girl who was taken hostage by Brian Nichols…the guy who had just escaped from jail and killed 4 people, including a judge in GA. When the story came out, she said she read to him from “The Purpose Driven Life” and after a 7 hour ordeal this guy let her go in the morning to see her little girl and asked if he could do some stuff around her house. Is that an incredible story or what?
After reading the book, there were a few details that didn’t come out initially. The girl was a drug addict and actually offered some “ice” (crystal meth) to him. However, what is so cool about the book is not so much the news story, but the bigger story…Ashley Smith’s redemption. Right after reading the book, I saw her on the Larry King show and of course, he brought up that there are Christian leaders opposing this book. There are others criticizing her for offering drugs to a criminal…but, as the “experts” try to analyze, scrutinize and psychologize what happened that night – you know what???? I find it absolutely, beautifully refreshing that she was simply “living life” – moving into an apartment, going out for cigarettes… and our Wonderful God, the mighty Creator of the universe was right there, and made Himself known to her…and He used her in a very powerful way.
He tells us that He is a God who is involved in the smallest details of life, yet we find that very difficult to believe. But, God is real and reaches into the depths to save us. She found out that night…it’s true!
Sixteen years ago, I too found out it was true! Reading the details of her “awakening,” it was inspiring… like living mine all over again, when one night, after overdosing on Cocaine for the 3rd or 4th time (I can’t recall), thinking I wasn’t going to make it…I too came to grips with those same truths #1) I was a drug addict #2) I was a pathetic excuse for a mother {I had 3 kids by different fathers, which was exactly how I grew up} #3) They would be far better off without me if I died. Life was out of control and like this girl, I thought the drugs were larger than God, I thought that my inability to get the relationship-thing right was bigger than God…but, I would realize that night that I had a REAL Father and He was much bigger and awesome than any drug or any thing else that had a hold of my life. I have never looked back and I don’t think she will either, because she got to see what many, many people, even Christians, only hope to believe – things aren’t what we thought they were…we’re not who we thought we were! What a blessing to have those ‘moments’ where you know, without a doubt that God is real and His love is real!
The night of my own “awakening” I saw the huge reality of the truth…I knew that I deserved God’s anger, I knew what a screw-up I’d been, I deserved His disappointment. However, God met me with unconditional grace & mercy. It was very real and though I’d been so high earlier that I could barely talk, I knew God answered my cry for help and sensed His love in a very intimate and real way. Suddenly, I was no longer afraid. He’s given me peace and freed me from the pain of the past.
As far as this story…you know, it’s funny, we have all this technology, education, knowledge and we think we’re so intelligent, yet the truth is so profoundly simple. The most effective and powerful weapon continues to be a sincere and genuine heart, willing to be used by God…in everyday life. God’s word used coming though a transparent vessel translates forgiveness and hope through Christ to the most dismal, hopeless situation. This girl offered…she allowed God to offer that hope to a very dangerous and desperate man who rightly thought he was “already dead”! She lived to tell about it when others did not, which reminds me of another truth found in scripture! “Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord”
When I was first saved, someone told me something that I’ve never forgotten. They just reminded me how relatively few people “know what I know” and I should never give up sharing. Reading her story and realizing that there are always those who will criticize, there will be doubts and we’ll grow weary at times, but nothing compares to the hope our stories offer to the millions who have none. Though ours may have not been a media event, we who’ve experienced that hope have a story. Don’t stop sharing it.
After reading the book, there were a few details that didn’t come out initially. The girl was a drug addict and actually offered some “ice” (crystal meth) to him. However, what is so cool about the book is not so much the news story, but the bigger story…Ashley Smith’s redemption. Right after reading the book, I saw her on the Larry King show and of course, he brought up that there are Christian leaders opposing this book. There are others criticizing her for offering drugs to a criminal…but, as the “experts” try to analyze, scrutinize and psychologize what happened that night – you know what???? I find it absolutely, beautifully refreshing that she was simply “living life” – moving into an apartment, going out for cigarettes… and our Wonderful God, the mighty Creator of the universe was right there, and made Himself known to her…and He used her in a very powerful way.
He tells us that He is a God who is involved in the smallest details of life, yet we find that very difficult to believe. But, God is real and reaches into the depths to save us. She found out that night…it’s true!
Sixteen years ago, I too found out it was true! Reading the details of her “awakening,” it was inspiring… like living mine all over again, when one night, after overdosing on Cocaine for the 3rd or 4th time (I can’t recall), thinking I wasn’t going to make it…I too came to grips with those same truths #1) I was a drug addict #2) I was a pathetic excuse for a mother {I had 3 kids by different fathers, which was exactly how I grew up} #3) They would be far better off without me if I died. Life was out of control and like this girl, I thought the drugs were larger than God, I thought that my inability to get the relationship-thing right was bigger than God…but, I would realize that night that I had a REAL Father and He was much bigger and awesome than any drug or any thing else that had a hold of my life. I have never looked back and I don’t think she will either, because she got to see what many, many people, even Christians, only hope to believe – things aren’t what we thought they were…we’re not who we thought we were! What a blessing to have those ‘moments’ where you know, without a doubt that God is real and His love is real!
The night of my own “awakening” I saw the huge reality of the truth…I knew that I deserved God’s anger, I knew what a screw-up I’d been, I deserved His disappointment. However, God met me with unconditional grace & mercy. It was very real and though I’d been so high earlier that I could barely talk, I knew God answered my cry for help and sensed His love in a very intimate and real way. Suddenly, I was no longer afraid. He’s given me peace and freed me from the pain of the past.
As far as this story…you know, it’s funny, we have all this technology, education, knowledge and we think we’re so intelligent, yet the truth is so profoundly simple. The most effective and powerful weapon continues to be a sincere and genuine heart, willing to be used by God…in everyday life. God’s word used coming though a transparent vessel translates forgiveness and hope through Christ to the most dismal, hopeless situation. This girl offered…she allowed God to offer that hope to a very dangerous and desperate man who rightly thought he was “already dead”! She lived to tell about it when others did not, which reminds me of another truth found in scripture! “Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord”
When I was first saved, someone told me something that I’ve never forgotten. They just reminded me how relatively few people “know what I know” and I should never give up sharing. Reading her story and realizing that there are always those who will criticize, there will be doubts and we’ll grow weary at times, but nothing compares to the hope our stories offer to the millions who have none. Though ours may have not been a media event, we who’ve experienced that hope have a story. Don’t stop sharing it.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Thursday, September 29, 2005
And I thought this my first time "performing!"
And I thought this was my first time "performing!" Looks like I had a little more experience than I thought. ;-) Guess which one is me!
Good grief, before that last post, it had been almost a month since I wrote. That's hard to believe. Let's see...what's gone on in a month? Hmmm...well, I've learned my part of the accapella "chant" in Latin, which I thought was impossible. Now I'm having to learn to waltz. At least with the singing...you can back out, if you stumble...but, waltzing????
Frank and I were Best man and "matron of honor" in a wedding. Yep, my mom's. So, now I'm 50 and I've got a new step-dad. As soon as they were married, my mother said to Frank, about her new husband; "now he's one of us!" Frank immediately looked right at him and said "great! could you lend me 2000.00?" The groom took out a hankie and nervously wiped his brow.
Also, lots of opportunities to sing, leading worship at our own church and other events with a few coming up as well. Everything seems to be in October and we've planned a vacation, so we'll be gone for the first week. In fact, we leave this Friday. It's been planned for months, but little did we know that it would be the worst possible time to go away ever. But..is there ever a "GOOD" time to go away?
I am however, looking forward to spending an entire, relaxing week with my family. We're also taking my brother's nine year old son and 3 friends of the kids. So, it should be fun....or chaotic :)
Saturday, September 24, 2005
"Out of The Ashes" Part 3 - Final
As I said earlier, I'd started here and there singing on the worship team at
church, which gave me great joy and something to look forward to week to
week, even though there were days I could barely stand up, even with pain
medication.
One evening, I was one of the team leading worship for a guest speaker at our
church. I remember this so well, the passion of this Jewish woman as she
shared her story; a woman, though highly motivated, wealthy and successful still found herself terribly lonely and empty. She wound up walking away from everything and was even disowned by her own family when she embraced the reality that Jesus Christ WAS in fact the Messiah and His sacrifice included her!
This gal was serious. The revelation that God loved her in this personal way
had turned her life upside down and cost her everything. When she was
finished talking, I asked her to pray for me. I told her about the misery of the treatments. How weak and sick I was and it seemed to be getting worse, yet I still had more than seven months left. She just looked me square in the face and didn't even hesitate;
"who says you have to continue taking the medication?"
What????? I couldn't believe the nerve of her to be so bold.
"Well," I stammered. "Uh...the doctors say that I have to be on this eighteen months."
"What does God say?"
I have to admit, I was hurt and actually a little insulted. I don't know what I actually was expecting...a little compassion, maybe, but...I certainly wasn't expecting her blunt reply at all. I dismissed her answer as being a little fanatical. Yet, as the days drug on and I grew weaker, I remembered those words again and again. By now, I'd lost half my hair, (Now THAT's a symptom worse than death...well...right up there among the worst, at least for a hairdresser :) and my head pounded constantly. Every muscle and bone in my body ached without relief. In those last weeks of treatment, just getting in a car, let alone driving, was simply unbearable. Getting myself up and out of my house had come to require so much effort, going anywhere just didn't seem worth it.
One night, friends were in from out of town. They wanted to meet us for dinner.
I missed them and wanted to see them so badly. So I timed the pain
medication, taking it right before we left the house, so that I could tolerate
sitting up in a restaurant for an hour or so. Their expression of concern when
they saw me confirmed it; I looked as near death as I felt. That night I was due
for another shot, but the thought that the morning would bring more side
effects on top of this was just too much to bear. Though I went through the ritual of tapping the air bubbles from the syringe and finding a clear place on my leg to inject...I found I just couldn't do it! And didn't.
The next day, I called the nurse at the "Medical College of VA" or MCV, where
I'd been going for treatment since starting the second round of injections. "I can't do this anymore." I sobbed to the nurse. After administering shots of Inf for almost a year to myself, the thought of doing it this ONE MORE TIME made me sick.
"Well, of course, we can't make you take treatment" she said. "why don't you just stop and see how it goes?"
So I did. I stopped short of seven months of the prescribed treatment with no
recurrance or consequence. Today I'm still "virus undetectable" which means
that although the virus is probably still there, it is no longer active or wreaking
the havoc it once was. (Now I am not advocating that everyone stop treatment,
because I don't deny that the medication had some part of the recovery,
however, I attribute my physical, emotional and spiritual health to God)
Slowly, I began gaining strength. Eventually, it occurred to me that until then, I'd
been content to live in this bubble of a Christian world, surrounded by
Christian people, doing "Christian" things. Yet, for more than seventy five
percent of my life, I'd stood on the edge of hell itself, trying out, in some
measure or another, pretty much everything this world has to offer. I knew that
the end result in all of those things came to nothing. I'd experienced it first
hand and knew without a doubt, God is real, and His love through what was
done on that cross is serious! That woman knew it was serious!
Realizing that, back when God showed me His reality, had brought a sudden reversal of the destruction I'd reaped on not only myself, but, my children, just what kind of human being would I be if I could simply enjoy the shelter of this new
"Christian" world, when others around me were still caught in so much
hopelessness and despair?
It's kind of like a conversation on another blog; one guy asked the question "what if it's all not true? and you lived your life for something that was a lie?"
"Well" I answered him. "Then my life was more purposeful, meaningful,
healthy, and because of it a cycle of abuse, divorce, alcohol and drugs was
mercifully ended. I guess the worms and the dirt that cover me when it's all said and done will be none the more harmed for my being there....HOWEVER...If it IS true...God help me if I didn't at least tell you."
Anyway you look at it, I felt like this whole thing had purpose. I don't claim to
know the whole of God's intended purpose...but, for me, this hideous thing
opened my eyes to first of all, see more intimately, the seriousness of life and
what people go through. Surrounded by all the "Christian" trimmings, it's easy
to lose perspective of the pain/suffering and despair of others. This was the
thing that God used to encourage me to share my life, openly. There's nothing to hide; the good or the bad. I'm not responsible for what people think, but only to let others know that there is nothing too difficult for Him. He can and will change the most impossible/hopeless situations if you simply let Him.
Corrie TenBoom, a Holocaust survivor, said this; quoting her sister
as she lay tortured and dying in a concentration camp; "there is no suffering on
this earth that is so deep that His love is not deeper still" Her words seem trite, except that spoken through a serious situation...they become more profound. Those words were spoken through the truth that gave them hope in such as hopeless situation...the reality of what God has done through Jesus on the cross.
I share all this in the hope to encourage you. Don’t give up. If you are a
Christian, hold on tight, embrace the Truth, even when it doesn't "feel" so true,
and learn with those that have gone before to trust His goodness and say with
confidence “I will not fear for thou art with me.”
If you don't believe, I pray that maybe you'll ask Him right now, to show you
the reality of His existance.
church, which gave me great joy and something to look forward to week to
week, even though there were days I could barely stand up, even with pain
medication.
One evening, I was one of the team leading worship for a guest speaker at our
church. I remember this so well, the passion of this Jewish woman as she
shared her story; a woman, though highly motivated, wealthy and successful still found herself terribly lonely and empty. She wound up walking away from everything and was even disowned by her own family when she embraced the reality that Jesus Christ WAS in fact the Messiah and His sacrifice included her!
This gal was serious. The revelation that God loved her in this personal way
had turned her life upside down and cost her everything. When she was
finished talking, I asked her to pray for me. I told her about the misery of the treatments. How weak and sick I was and it seemed to be getting worse, yet I still had more than seven months left. She just looked me square in the face and didn't even hesitate;
"who says you have to continue taking the medication?"
What????? I couldn't believe the nerve of her to be so bold.
"Well," I stammered. "Uh...the doctors say that I have to be on this eighteen months."
"What does God say?"
I have to admit, I was hurt and actually a little insulted. I don't know what I actually was expecting...a little compassion, maybe, but...I certainly wasn't expecting her blunt reply at all. I dismissed her answer as being a little fanatical. Yet, as the days drug on and I grew weaker, I remembered those words again and again. By now, I'd lost half my hair, (Now THAT's a symptom worse than death...well...right up there among the worst, at least for a hairdresser :) and my head pounded constantly. Every muscle and bone in my body ached without relief. In those last weeks of treatment, just getting in a car, let alone driving, was simply unbearable. Getting myself up and out of my house had come to require so much effort, going anywhere just didn't seem worth it.
One night, friends were in from out of town. They wanted to meet us for dinner.
I missed them and wanted to see them so badly. So I timed the pain
medication, taking it right before we left the house, so that I could tolerate
sitting up in a restaurant for an hour or so. Their expression of concern when
they saw me confirmed it; I looked as near death as I felt. That night I was due
for another shot, but the thought that the morning would bring more side
effects on top of this was just too much to bear. Though I went through the ritual of tapping the air bubbles from the syringe and finding a clear place on my leg to inject...I found I just couldn't do it! And didn't.
The next day, I called the nurse at the "Medical College of VA" or MCV, where
I'd been going for treatment since starting the second round of injections. "I can't do this anymore." I sobbed to the nurse. After administering shots of Inf for almost a year to myself, the thought of doing it this ONE MORE TIME made me sick.
"Well, of course, we can't make you take treatment" she said. "why don't you just stop and see how it goes?"
So I did. I stopped short of seven months of the prescribed treatment with no
recurrance or consequence. Today I'm still "virus undetectable" which means
that although the virus is probably still there, it is no longer active or wreaking
the havoc it once was. (Now I am not advocating that everyone stop treatment,
because I don't deny that the medication had some part of the recovery,
however, I attribute my physical, emotional and spiritual health to God)
Slowly, I began gaining strength. Eventually, it occurred to me that until then, I'd
been content to live in this bubble of a Christian world, surrounded by
Christian people, doing "Christian" things. Yet, for more than seventy five
percent of my life, I'd stood on the edge of hell itself, trying out, in some
measure or another, pretty much everything this world has to offer. I knew that
the end result in all of those things came to nothing. I'd experienced it first
hand and knew without a doubt, God is real, and His love through what was
done on that cross is serious! That woman knew it was serious!
Realizing that, back when God showed me His reality, had brought a sudden reversal of the destruction I'd reaped on not only myself, but, my children, just what kind of human being would I be if I could simply enjoy the shelter of this new
"Christian" world, when others around me were still caught in so much
hopelessness and despair?
It's kind of like a conversation on another blog; one guy asked the question "what if it's all not true? and you lived your life for something that was a lie?"
"Well" I answered him. "Then my life was more purposeful, meaningful,
healthy, and because of it a cycle of abuse, divorce, alcohol and drugs was
mercifully ended. I guess the worms and the dirt that cover me when it's all said and done will be none the more harmed for my being there....HOWEVER...If it IS true...God help me if I didn't at least tell you."
Anyway you look at it, I felt like this whole thing had purpose. I don't claim to
know the whole of God's intended purpose...but, for me, this hideous thing
opened my eyes to first of all, see more intimately, the seriousness of life and
what people go through. Surrounded by all the "Christian" trimmings, it's easy
to lose perspective of the pain/suffering and despair of others. This was the
thing that God used to encourage me to share my life, openly. There's nothing to hide; the good or the bad. I'm not responsible for what people think, but only to let others know that there is nothing too difficult for Him. He can and will change the most impossible/hopeless situations if you simply let Him.
Corrie TenBoom, a Holocaust survivor, said this; quoting her sister
as she lay tortured and dying in a concentration camp; "there is no suffering on
this earth that is so deep that His love is not deeper still" Her words seem trite, except that spoken through a serious situation...they become more profound. Those words were spoken through the truth that gave them hope in such as hopeless situation...the reality of what God has done through Jesus on the cross.
I share all this in the hope to encourage you. Don’t give up. If you are a
Christian, hold on tight, embrace the Truth, even when it doesn't "feel" so true,
and learn with those that have gone before to trust His goodness and say with
confidence “I will not fear for thou art with me.”
If you don't believe, I pray that maybe you'll ask Him right now, to show you
the reality of His existance.
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Just Call Me Sista Melanie!!!
After the audition the other night, I walked out chalking it up to "oh, well...at least it was a great experience." I knew I was totally out of my league with some of these "ringers" who showed up. There were about 20 or more women who got the "call back"; all scrambling for one of three lead nuns. You should have heard these voices...good grief!!! When I was handed sheet music and told "That's your part" of a 4 part harmony...geesh...I know my place and it wasn't there :):) I can sing harmony, but totally from what I hear...in other words, I can't read a note! :)
I was so sure that there was no way on this earth, I'd already made plans to once again, produce my own play for Christmas. In fact, all the excitement of "The Sound of Music" had given me the motivation for all the work it takes to put it together. HOWEVER...
Going back to life as usual, I was putting groceries away when my son came home from work early...
Nick: So you don't think they're going to call.
Me: (laugh) I'm positive...there is no way.
Nick: How do you know?
Me: Trust me.
This is the honest truth...right here, the phone rings...Nick picks it up and looks at Caller ID
Nick: It's Riverside!
Me: Very funny!
Nick: No, I'm serious!
Me: No way, get outta here.
Nick: Mom!!!!! I'm serious...it's Riverside...
Me: Hello?
Man on phone: Hi, this is "Bob" from Riverside. How are you? Did you have fun last night?
Me: I learned alot. :)
"Bob": Well, I'm calling to offer you the role of one of the nuns. An exta "singing nun"
Me: Are you kidding? I'm not sure...can I call you back?
Bob: What??? Well...uh...I really need to know.
Me: I will, I'll call you right back.
I called Frank because by then, I'd already begun thinking about this big Christmas production. "Are you crazy? You can see this through, then do the production. Just push it back a few months."
So, all that to say...I'm a "Singing nun" Sister No Name! I was just thinking about how incredible it is to know the Lord. I could have never dreamed to have part of the opportunities that He's given. Now, I'm not saying that getting a part in the "Sound of Music" is a direct "blessing" from God, because to tell the truth, I know it could be a complete nightmare and something I'll never do again. What I am saying though, is that it's confidence in God rather than myself that I would even attempt stuff like this. When I think of the talent that was there, there's not a doubt in my mind that confidence in the reality of God kept me from curling up in a ball or something. Taking chances with a sort of "wreckless" abandon that isn't crippled by intimidation or fear of embarassment is such a freedom...it's one of His many gifts.
2Corinthians 3:17...."where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom"
Anyway, rehearsals start this Sunday for the nuns...I have to learn 2nd Alto Harmony for the "Morning Hymn"...in (gulp)Latin...so, here we go!!!
I was so sure that there was no way on this earth, I'd already made plans to once again, produce my own play for Christmas. In fact, all the excitement of "The Sound of Music" had given me the motivation for all the work it takes to put it together. HOWEVER...
Going back to life as usual, I was putting groceries away when my son came home from work early...
Nick: So you don't think they're going to call.
Me: (laugh) I'm positive...there is no way.
Nick: How do you know?
Me: Trust me.
This is the honest truth...right here, the phone rings...Nick picks it up and looks at Caller ID
Nick: It's Riverside!
Me: Very funny!
Nick: No, I'm serious!
Me: No way, get outta here.
Nick: Mom!!!!! I'm serious...it's Riverside...
Me: Hello?
Man on phone: Hi, this is "Bob" from Riverside. How are you? Did you have fun last night?
Me: I learned alot. :)
"Bob": Well, I'm calling to offer you the role of one of the nuns. An exta "singing nun"
Me: Are you kidding? I'm not sure...can I call you back?
Bob: What??? Well...uh...I really need to know.
Me: I will, I'll call you right back.
I called Frank because by then, I'd already begun thinking about this big Christmas production. "Are you crazy? You can see this through, then do the production. Just push it back a few months."
So, all that to say...I'm a "Singing nun" Sister No Name! I was just thinking about how incredible it is to know the Lord. I could have never dreamed to have part of the opportunities that He's given. Now, I'm not saying that getting a part in the "Sound of Music" is a direct "blessing" from God, because to tell the truth, I know it could be a complete nightmare and something I'll never do again. What I am saying though, is that it's confidence in God rather than myself that I would even attempt stuff like this. When I think of the talent that was there, there's not a doubt in my mind that confidence in the reality of God kept me from curling up in a ball or something. Taking chances with a sort of "wreckless" abandon that isn't crippled by intimidation or fear of embarassment is such a freedom...it's one of His many gifts.
2Corinthians 3:17...."where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom"
Anyway, rehearsals start this Sunday for the nuns...I have to learn 2nd Alto Harmony for the "Morning Hymn"...in (gulp)Latin...so, here we go!!!
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